When my husband died very unexpectedly of an aortic dissection in 2003, I found myself in a place of mental suspended animation. It was as though I had ceased to exist in the world I had so comfortably resided in, and I had no idea where to go – even with my own thoughts.
The shock-induced limbo that allowed me to make the funeral arrangements, write an obituary that portrayed the man he was, and make decisions that would literally be etched in stone, gave way to stunned, heart-stopping grief. Once that took hold, shock evolved into uncontrollable emotion and the inability to make myself function, mostly because I felt I didn't know how to. Nothing was the same.
After weeks of my own version of therapy that involved cleaning and raging and sobbing while doing it (while subsisting on nothing more than the occasional piece of toast), I realized I couldn't stay in that mental place or I would surely go mad – or die myself.
A ray of hope
My innate sense of survival made me seek out other avenues, including Reiki, psychics (lots of bad, one good), and energy healers. My soul and my heart were so broken, I felt a near-desperation to be healed. Though I gained something from all of those encounters, the energy healer ultimately lead me to chakra meditation, which has proven to be the path to my emotional recovery and a renewed sense of life and purpose.
What is chakra?
The word chakra, based in Sanskrit, essentially means “vortexes” or energy centers within our bodies. In chakra meditation, the mind focuses in on the seven basic centers.
For instance, the first chakra, associated with the color red, is located at the base of your spine and relates to your sense of smell and feelings of survival and grounding. The second, the orange sacral chakra, relates to your sense of taste and connects you to feelings of creativity, balanced sexual energy and harmonious relationships. The solar plexus chakra, which is yellow, relates to sight and helps feelings of personal power, energy and self-control.
The fourth, known as the heart chakra, is green and relates to the sense of touch, feelings of love, and our own compassion. The blue throat chakra relates to sound and connects with feelings of self-expression and communication. The chakra located in the middle of your forehead, known as the Third Eye, is indigo and relates to light and vision. The final one, the crown chakra at the top of your head, is violet and connects to feelings of wisdom.
I know. It sounds kind of out there and a bit too simplistic. When I first heard the words and the explanation of what it is pitched with the idea that it could help me find my way back, I was more than skeptical. Though I've always had what I thought was an open mind and a belief that all things are possible, this seemed too big a wound to heal with thoughts and words.
Powerful mind
The difference between mere words and chakra is the part your own mind plays in the ability to feel and visualize the action and power of each energy center. The message is that everything you need to heal and balance yourself is within you, if only you would seek it out. And it is. When you focus, one by one, on each of these main energy centers and begin to believe in the simple, basic message, an aspect of actually having control again begins to filter into your consciousness. You begin to find peace.
It takes some practice and dedication, to be sure, but I've done this meditation for so long now that it is the way I think and see myself rather than an exercise of the mind, and I'm grateful every day for the energy healer who brought me to it.
My favorite is a guided meditation provided by a CD by Glenn Harrold, a British hypnotherapist and author. It allows me to focus in on his words and close out the rest of the world because it directs my thoughts inward. But you can do your own guided meditation without outside influences, too, and there are many resources to help you find the approach that works best for you.
A new beginning
I've discovered through my grief that I am a powerful soul and that I control the path I choose to take, not only in healing but in my everyday decisions. I'm a better person for having traveled this road. Maybe chakra will work as well for you as it did for me, maybe it won't, but there are so many ways to make yourself the best whole person you can be. This is just one of them, and I wish you well on your healing journey.
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